Too Cute!

Hayes is such a sweet little boy. He just looks so thoughtful in this picture that I had to share it. I can't believe that he is already 4 monthes old. Time just goes by so fast.

Thank You

Thank you Nick and Meri for your comments. It is nice to know that I am loved. It may not seem like much to type a few words to make some one feel better but they hit me hard. I am so glad to have people in my life that take the time to tell me how much they love me. I need you both in my life so much. Thank you for being my sisters and my friends. And know that even though at the moment my life is crazy and hectic I will always be there for each ot you. Love ya.
Love,
Lacey

Stupid Me.

Do you ever get the feeling that nothing is ever going to go right in your life again? I am sure everyone does. This whole past year has been a literal hell for me (with a few high points). I had to leave my husband because he lacked the Love or motivation or something and just wouldn't work. Stupid me. I thought he would come running back as fast as he could scrambling to get our lives back together. Stupid me. He is taking his time. He lives somewhere else and I live with my mother. Stupid me. He gets to play Dad whenever he wants and gets to go home to enjoy not having to worry about four other people while I am a full time mom and am working full time to boot just to afford to live at my moms house. Stupid me. I had to buy diapers with quarters the other day. Stupid me. I am worth more than that. I know I am. But how do I make the Love of my life Love me back? Stupid me. There were times when we were together that I wasn't sure where we were going to be the next day, and I never want to go through that again. Why does Love make us so stupid? Why do I still care about him? Why do I still want to be with him? Why can't I just let it go and start over? Because of Love? Stupid Stupid Love? Well then I HATE Love. It makes me Stupid. Stupid me. And Then .................................................................................... I Love, Love. I Love, Loving my family, my friends, my wonderful Loving children. I Love how they Love me. I Love seeing old friends with their new children, and somewhere inside me even though I don't know them a tiny piece of me Loves them. I think I have taken Love and turned it into my enemy. I have always loved to freely, too whole heartedly and it has done nothing but slap me in the face and beat me down and leave me for dead. I wish my heart could stop loving, so no one or nothing could destroy me. I am beginning to sound like a crazy person. But all of you who are reading this that know me, know that I am crazy. So basically this whole blog tonight is to state the fact that I Love and Hate Love and I am crazy. Done, nuff said. Goodnight.